


How York Became A Red Dirtbag

by Lunan95



Series: Red vs Blue - Fictlets 2019 [7]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alernate Universe - York Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Tex Lives (?), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Gen, M/M, and Delta, and becomes a Red, and it's really funny, basically the plot of RvB but with York, in which York lives, really that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:42:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24760996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunan95/pseuds/Lunan95
Summary: In which York does not die, Tex drags him to Blood Gulch and tells him to stay with the Reds, watch over Quincy for her. And York may have more in common with the Reds than he ever expected to. He comes to enjoy it as it is...until everything gets fucked up and York is the self-appointed big brother for them.Shit hits the fan as usual, but York doesn't complain over the crazy adventures as long he got booze, cigarettes and his new drinking buddy Grif.And Delta is irritated by the unhealthy habits of those two.
Relationships: AI Program Delta & Agent York (Red vs. Blue), Agent Texas | AI Program Beta & Agent York, Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons, York & Red Team
Series: Red vs Blue - Fictlets 2019 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1510496
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	How York Became A Red Dirtbag

Blood Gulch was a dirthole, York decided.

“And he put the Alpha here, seriously?!” York asked Texas as they entered the boxed-in canyon, it looked like almost every standard simulation outpost for Freelancer training purposes.

But serious talk, this was nothing else than a hot, boring gulch in the middle of nowhere.

“Seriously.” Tex confirmed. “Pretty smart move, the Director knew no one would find Alpha here because it’s a dirthole with a bunch of idiots...and a few less idiots. Like Simmons, he got a pretty good head. Except he spends his remaining brain cells by bickering with a guy who can’t bother with this fake war thing.”

“Sounds like a real party.” York chuckled. “Am I right, D?”

Delta flickered by his shoulders.  _ “I am not so sure if that counts as a party, York.” _ The green-colored AI unit replied.

“Eh, I think this is gonna be fun.” York shrugged his shoulders. “So, what's the plan?”

Tex turned to him. “We’re gonna lay low here and figure out what is next. Wyoming got away, but now we know that he’s working with Omega about something. Our best plan is to stay with the idiots until Omega slips up. Last time I checked, he’s possessed by the medic.”

“Well then!” York said, far too cheerful for the situation. “Which team should I join then?”

“Take the Reds. And you can watch the kid for me.”

York froze and turned to face her, slowly. “No...way. Missouri was hidden here?!”

“It’s Quincy, dipshit. And yup. The asshole probably thought it was clever to hide her along with Alpha.”

“But also setting them against each other, no one would’ve caught on.” York shrugged. “Oh, Illinois is gonna flip his shit when I tell him. He misses the kid like crazy!”

“He got his little island with his red boat then?”

“Yup! I saw him last year, actually. Man, that was great!” York said as they walked down to the canyon. “We got so wasted on his spiced rum, he’s gotten a great collection in his little minibar!”

Tex scoffed fondly. “Illinois is just living his best life on a remote paradise planet while we have to work our asses to save the day? Sounds just like the lazy bastard if making bombs isn’t cutting it.”

“Yup. Pity you can’t drink with a robot body.” York smirked.

“Ah, I’ll just get another body and we’ll join him later.” Tex said and they stopped in front of Red base. “Hey, cockbites! Get out before I shoot off your dicks!” She shouted. 

York saw to his amazement how fast the Reds got out. But they were sure a very funny bunch he had ever seen, each wore their own unique color and he quickly recognized a salmon color.

“What in Sam Hell do you want?!” That must be Sarge. 

Tex had told him all about the Reds and Blues during their little trip. York found it would be useful to get a headstart on the guys.

“I’ve got a guy for you, assholes!” Tex shouted back, it seemed to be the only communication form around here. “He’s just as stupid as you guys, so don’t worry!”

“Hey!” York protested playfully. “And here I thought you brought me for my good looks.”

“Nope, still ugly as hell.” Tex snarked back. “Not even a blind eye makes you look better.”

A maroon guy scoffed. “Oh, and you expect us to just take your offer when it can be a trap-”

“Dibs.” Sarge interrupted. “Welcome to Red Team, son.”

“What the... _ Sarge _ !” Simmons shrieked in protest and York couldn’t resist snickering. The orange guy, however, just laughed right out at his teammate’s reaction. “He might kill us in our sleep.”

“York!” It was Quincy who shouted and she looked exactly like before, she didn’t seem to age a day since the heydays. “I thought you were dead!”

“Nope, still alive!” York shouted up to her. “And you should be ashamed, Agent Missouri!” He added in mock scolding. “I would’ve never guessed you were alive and well if it wasn’t for Tex!”

Her team turned to her. “You know him?!” Simmons asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, we were Freelancer buddies! You guys can trust York, he’s great!” Quincy remarked. “Besides, there isn’t a lock he can’t break open!”  


“Then it’s settled!” Sarge barked. “Alright son, get up here.” He shouted to York who entered the base. “And you, get out of my base!” He snarled to Tex.

“Don’t tell me what to do, bitch.” Tex said. “I blow up your fucking base if something happens to Quincy and York. They’re idiots, but my idiots.”

* * *

And that was how York came to join the Red Team.

Honestly, he thought it was a blast. The guys plus Quincy sure were a colorful bunch and reminded him of the dysfunctional team he once was part of in Freelancer. 

Except they were morons, but hey. He could work with that.

Quincy was very eager to show him around the base. “Okay, it’s not that big. There’s the weapon room, the war room, the kitchen where we all eat together, a living area with the old couch. Me and Grif like to sit there, drink and bitch about life. Sarge has his own room, of course. But the rest of us share one big room with bunks and it’s sometimes fun except when it’s not. Buuut, we’re all like a big happy family who sometimes shoots at each other more than the enemy!”

Quincy finally stopped talking, but she looked just as bright and happy as before.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy as now!” York teased. “You never smiled like that at the Invention.”

Her smile suddenly faltered and York instantly regretted it. 

Fuck, that was dumb move. Remind her of the one place that raised her into a soldier made to kill on orders and kept her unhappy for being different, thanks to the AI device on her midsection.

“Sorry…” York apologized. “I didn’t mean that…”

“No, it’s okay. I think I’m getting over it.” Quincy said. “I mean, the Director somehow locked my memories and set me here. All it took was to see Tex again and then, I remembered everything.”

“Fucking asshole…” York muttered darkly. “Not only sacrificing everyone, including Carolina, for whatever plan he had in mind.” He paused. “I heard...he let you be tortured, for going with Tex and rebelling against him.”

Any light left in Quincy’s green eyes faded at the reminder. “He did...I was just trying to help Church, I mean Alpha. He was getting tortured, torn apart and I couldn’t stand for it. I didn’t just want to do something, I wanted to do the right thing.”

“She probably would never say it out loud, but Tex is real proud of you.” York said with a small smile. “She's just sorry that she left you at the Mother of Invention.”

“I don’t regret it, I told her I would be fine and she trusted me.” Quincy shot back. “Besides, it gave you a chance to escape too.”

York chuckled and swung an arm around her shoulders. “Ah, our selfless little Missouri is all grown up now. We raised you so well!”

Quincy scoffed. “You didn’t do anything, York! It was Tex and Illinois who did all the hard work.”

“I provided the entertainment!”

* * *

York soon came to realize how happy Quincy was here.

Much happier than she had been in Mother of Invention, back before the whole Freelancer fiasco escalated. She smiled in a way he had never seen before.

When she was Missouri...she did smile, but it was slight and faded away just as fast. York did know that Freelancer was slowly destroying her in the end, which was one of the reasons why he sided with Tex.

He hated the Director for what he had done to the Alpha, to Carolina, to Maine, to Wash whom he never got to see again and what he nearly did to Quincy.

He escaped before they could take Delta from him, but Quincy was in more danger because if they remove the Omicron device from her, she’ll die. Tex acted fast and got her out of there when they went rogue.

But he began to enjoy himself here as well, forgetting why he was there in first place.

Grif was a great guy with the right philosophies and lifestyle. York quickly learned to favor him more, since he wasn’t a nerd like Simmons with his spreadsheets (although he appreciated Star Wars movies, who didn’t like that?) and he managed to escape when Donut offered foundation to cover up his eye scar.

Sarge...York tolerated him at most and his plans were just plain crazy, which made him miss Carolina’s excellent thought-out plans and improvisations. 

But York found the colorful Red leader funny and as long he just went along with whatever Sarge told him, he was in his good pages.

York didn’t understand a lick shit about whatever Lopez was saying. But that didn’t matter much to him since Delta was always happy to translate (the wonders of an AI always surprises him).

Being a Red was actually a blast.

* * *

Then Wyoming showed up, Omega went on a body-hopping spree and everything got fucked up.

York was usually an easy going man, he liked simple pleasures and he liked his friends. But what he couldn’t stand was threatening his new friends and especially Quincy.

“D, let’s fuck that guy up.” York muttered, pissed off when each of the Wyoming clones tried to shoot Quincy who dodged every bullet. But she couldn’t avoid them forever and he had a feeling she was getting tired.

_ “Affirmative, York.” _ Delta replied and jumpstarted calculations for every scenario.

He didn’t had to fight for long because his fellow Reds came roaring in a fucking Warthog and started to fight every single Wyoming clone.

York busted out a laugh while he patched up Quincy, who were nearly riddles of scratches and grazes of bullets. Yup, he already loved those idiots.

Then Tex just had to blow up in the escaping helicopter along with Andy the Bomb, Tucker’s alien kid, Wyoming’s head and Omega.

York actually felt sorry for Church who quickly spiraled into a depression. Quincy was sad as well, but there was nothing they could do about it though.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be back.” York patted her shoulder, the whole Red team  _ somehow _ managed to squeeze in the Warthog and drove back home to the base. “I know Tex, she’ll be back before you know it!”

Delta hummed in the back of his head, present as always. York hadn’t introduced his AI to the Reds yet, but he had a feeling he might need to soon.

* * *

Shit happened again soon enough, after they all got reassigned to different posts. York had stayed behind in Blood Gulch, he reasoned that they can’t leave Sarge alone in all his lunacy.

Maybe before Blood Gulch, he got left alone on some empty planet and that’s why he’s crazy? Who knows.

Then Washington turned up and York hid inside the base, very sure it wasn’t a good idea to show himself so Sarge talked to the guy instead.

More like showing off how crazy and trigger-happy he was.

Well, that worked.

Except when a call from Command came about Wash had joined the Blues and now Sarge was convinced he needed Grif and Simmons to beat the Blues.

York decided to go with him, wherever this Rat’s Nest was.

Besides when Grif wasn’t there, York was the driver. Sarge  _ never  _ drove the Warthog though.

* * *

“Youre a fucking asshole.” was the first thing Grif said when they were driving to wherever the Blues and Wash was hiding.

“Nice to see you too, Grif!” York said cheerfully. “You should be happy I’m driving, you get to take a nap in the back.”

Grif was quiet for 2.5 seconds before he shrugged. “Eh, whatever. You owe me Oreos later, York.”

“Deal.” York grinned and focused on driving while Delta muttered annoyed in his head about Grif’s unhealthy diet.

York recognized the windmill base as a Freelancer Simulation base and was about to tell his guys about it when they got attacked.

“Maine?” York asked shocked and barely had time to jump away when “Maine” attacked him with his weapon. “What the hell…?!”

“York!” It was Quincy’s voice, she was hiding along with Washington, Church and Caboose. “It’s not Maine anymore, he’s the Meta!”

“The...Meta?” York muttered. “D, can you see what’s going on with him?”

_ “It appears there are too many AI units running the so-called Meta’s equipments.” _ Delta quickly came with his analysis. 

“How many AIs?” York demanded.

_ “...six.” _ Delta hesitated with his answer. “ _ What I can see...there’s Gamma, Eta, Iota, Omega, Theta, Agent Texas and...Sigma.”  _

Delta said the last name with venom.

“Fucking prick.” York muttered, remembering what Tex told about what Sigma did to Quincy once. “What that fucker did to her was uncalled for. She was just a kid!”

_ “Sigma was under the impression that the AI unit formerly known as Omicron existed within Agent Missouri and used her human persona as a vessel.” _ Delta responded.  _ “Although Sigma did not listen to reason when I tried to explain the situation.” _

“No shit, that idiot is delusional! Makes me wonder if all the AI are like that.” York muttered. “No offense, Delta.”

Delta gave an irritated ping in his mind.

* * *

The Meta got away, but Delta was at least safe. The bad news was the Meta was more interested in killing Quincy, because of the Omicron device.

Which meant Sigma was still obsessed to take Omicron back.

York was annoyed. Why was it so hard to understand that Omicron didn’t exist in that sense anymore?

But the good news was York’s stupid Reds were finally reunited. Except for Donut, but he was in the desert and doing who knows what with Tucker.

York put fifty bucks they were banging, courtesy of Grif’s betting pool.

“I never know how you get the goods, Grif.” York snickered, it was nighttime and they were currently in an old base, safe from the Meta. But they were moving out next morning, it seemed like Wash had a plan.

York found it hard to believe the rookie was so grown up now. Here he was, taking charge and leading. Carolina would’ve actually poked fun that she was proud and maybe they would’ve teased Wash a little. But he was pretty proud of him, though.

“Dude, this was the only good shit about Rat’s Nest.” Grif smirked and took a deep sip from his bottle. “You went to the crazy Freelancer ship with that Wash guy, huh?”

“Sure did. He was our little rookie, but he was great too. Otherwise he wouldn’t be at the leaderboard.”

“What do you make of him now then?” Grif said and leaned against the wall, relaxing like a pro.

York thought for a moment. Wash actually seemed to fit better with all these idiots than at Freelancer, like him. But he has gotten pretty serious and more melodramatic since he last saw him…

“He’s dramatic enough for a Blue.” York smirked.

York and Grif started to cackle hysterically.

Simmons bristled as he was busy rationing their ammo. “You two are so immature! Way to set an example for Quincy, no wonder her manners are awful! York, you’re a Freelancer so I expected better of you.”

York was too drunk to care about that. “Nah..! She’s doing great. She kicks names and takes ass...or was it kick ass and take names?”

Grif laughed.

“Ugh!” Simmons stomped off, flustered and fed up with the two idiots. “Why am I even trying with you assholes?”

“C’mon, Simmons. You love us!” York snickered, obviously more than just tipsy on alcohol.

“Do I?” Simmons muttered under his breath and continued on the ammo check. He kept mumbling things while he worked. “...don’t know where I did wrong...has to be something in the water...those two are disasters...one is an idiot thinking with his dick and the other is a stubborn idiot…”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know I haven't written so much RvB as I did before. But hopefully that will change soon once Season 18 airs. 
> 
> Basically we continue the adventures of the little Red, ex-Freelancer: Quincy, but now York is alive and stuff. I'm aware that I didn't wrote about what happenens in this Season 6 AU if Delta gets taken or if the Meta wins or what else may happen.
> 
> Well, just leave in the comments about what you think. ;)
> 
> -Lunan95


End file.
